tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29763791.post6031100026195143379..comments2023-10-31T05:07:19.353-04:00Comments on Delenda est Carthago: Braver on Who Leaves the Marriage . . . and Why It MattersDr. Φhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14086783503820477029noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29763791.post-47244057935829264382009-10-13T20:17:59.048-04:002009-10-13T20:17:59.048-04:00Women who won't be satisfied, or men who don&#...Women who won't be satisfied, or men who don't make the effort? Who shall we blame? The higher numbers in the womens column does support the idea that women are more critical then men. <br /><br />And how do we interpret the disparity in percentages related to the extramarital affair? The cheated-on spouse says that is the problem, but only a fraction of the cheaters say it was the cause? Like, I cheat, but then tell the interviewer the marriage broke up because "spouse not meeting my major needs"???Justinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01023125641719686613noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29763791.post-84935410973426677442009-10-13T17:56:40.325-04:002009-10-13T17:56:40.325-04:00Gradual growing apart, losing a sense of closeness...<i>Gradual growing apart, losing a sense of closeness<br />Serious differences in lifestyle and/or values<br />Not feeling loved or appreciated by spouse</i><br /><br />All different ways of saying she is bored with you now. You no longer make her gina tingle, buh-bye.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29763791.post-20965751745810585202009-10-13T13:43:52.846-04:002009-10-13T13:43:52.846-04:00I find that a majority of women are happy with the...I find that a majority of women are happy with the decision to divorce to be interesting in light of the polls I've seen that suggest that people in troubled marriages who get divorced report lower rates of happiness than do people in troubled marriages who stick it out. That could, however, be disproportionately weighted by male unhappiness with divorce the same way that most parenthood-makes-people-unhappy is weighted down by those with unplanned pregnancies. Or perhaps that's something that has changed in the last 20 years.<br /><br />Another thing that I meant to comment on below is that since 1987, I think that parental guardianship is something that has shifted in favor of men. When I was young, there was the presumption that the mother would get primary custody and now joint custody is assumed in a lot more places. Further, fathers have a more credible claim to sole custody. They'll rarely win it, but it can be used as a bargaining chip. I hear of this tactic being used a lot more frequently than I used to. A very positive development.<br /><br />On a sidenote, I suspect that one of the reasons that women fare better emotionally in divorce is that women tend to have better support networks. That's something that guys really need to work on.trumwillhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03156143676616919381noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29763791.post-51292885728241692842009-10-13T10:33:57.567-04:002009-10-13T10:33:57.567-04:00Braver addresses this possibility with his own sur...Braver addresses this possibility with his own survey. I do not recall the percentage of couples who volunteered that the decision was "mutual" but it was not substantial.Burkehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14252946969701576139noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29763791.post-88424092464275101732009-10-13T10:13:04.167-04:002009-10-13T10:13:04.167-04:00This study, cited in an endnote, is slightly probl...<i>This study, cited in an endnote, is slightly problematic because the numbers given -- 56% of divorces among childless couples are initiated by women while 65% among couples with children are initiated by women -- doesn't combine to get anywhere close to the two-thirds number, unless almost no divorces occur among childless couples.</i><br /><br />I would imagine that a substantial percentage of divorces are mutual decisions. Both spouses come to the conclusion, after talking over the matter, that a divorce is the best alternative. One of them then has to file the papers, and for whatever reasons it's more often than not the wife.<br /><br />The scenario in which one spouse, usually the husband, is shocked when he's served with papers, having no inkling they were coming, probably doesn't happen too often.<br /><br />PeterAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com