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Ever since Mrs. Φ introduced them to me, I have been a fan of Gap jeans.
After a lifetime of seeking the balance between a too-tight ass and a too-loose waist, here was a pair of relaxed-fit jeans that actually, you know, fit.
About a year ago, I put out that I was down to only one pair of jeans, having worn the knees out of my other pair. But I was nonplussed the other day when Mrs. Φ called me from, um, K-mart.
"I want to get a couple of pairs of jeans for you to try on," she said.
"But . . . I thought I liked Gap jeans," I replied skeptically.
"Yeah, but . . . these jeans are on sale for $8.99," she informed me. "Gap jeans are $30 when they're on sale."
So she brought home the K-mart jeans for me to try on. I surveyed myself in the mirror and said, "Sweetheart, I love you very much, and I know that as a married man my evolutionary fitness doesn't depend anymore on how I look.
"But I don't think I'm ever going to be . . . that married."
"HA!" scoffed Mrs. Φ. "Listen to you! This is exactly what you wore before I came along to clean up your sartorial act."
She had a point. But I liken this to how I started buying my own cheese after I left home. Sure, as a kid, Kraft Singles processed cheese food was fine. But after I started eating real cheese, I could never go back.
"Honey, I promise that, when we're poor, I'll wear K-mart jeans with pride. But since I don't get a new pair of jeans except every few years, I'd just as soon pay the extra money."
EPILOGUE: We were getting in the car to go to the pool when Mrs. Φ said, "I need you to stop at the fabric store on the way."
"Um, is that the one next to the K-mart?"
"Yup, that's the one," she replied, and then rolled her eyes at the realization.
She went back inside to get the jeans.
2 comments:
There are some things that getting house brand is perfectly fine for. Cereal, for instance.
You don't mess with jeans, though. Even if they look fine coming off the rack, they fade, never seem to stop shrinking, and fall apart. I have Wranglers from 4 years ago that are starting to come undone. My Walmart Brand jeans? Fell apart after two.
That's funny about the American Cheese. I always ate it before I got married, though now only do with certain things and I've sworn off but all the best brands of Processed American Cheese Foods.
In a way I disagree with Trumwill. I'd be perfectly happy with jeans that fell apart in two years (assuming they weren't physically *on* me when it happened). I do agree with Phi that we are talking about pretty trivial price differences in the grand scheme of things. (I suppose this depends on how well off you are.) I spent most of my life reveling in how bad I looked, but now believe that feeling comfortable and goob about how you look trumps almost any price differences between clothing manufacturers. It isn't relevant that Gap costs 3 times as much. What's relevant is that it's $20 over the life of the jeans. I don't know what Phi does for a living or if he has a gambling addiction, but I'm guessing he can swing that.
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