Pissing Away the Yogurt

From the inbox:

From: LEADERSHIP
To: PEONAGE
Subject: FW: Chobani Greek Yogurt (contains hemp seed- do not use)

I'm sending this email to inform you of a food item that needs to be avoided called Chobani Greek Yogurt. It contains Hemp Seeds which according to AFI 44-121, para. 3.2.2., studies have shown that products made with hemp seed and hemp seed oil may contain varying levels of tetrahydrocannabinol (THC), an active ingredient of marijuana which is detectable under the AF Drug Testing Program. In order to ensure military readiness, the ingestion of products containing or products derived from hemp seed or hemp seed oil is prohibited. Failure by military personnel to comply with the prohibition on the ingestion of products containing or products derived from hemp seed or hemp seed oil is a violation of Article 92, Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ)."

Please pass this information on to your personnel so they can avoid getting a potential positive drug use for THC.

Drug Demand Reduction Program Manager

First some background.  My only dogmatic assertion with respect to the legalization of drugs is that, on the grounds of simple humanity, cancer patients ought to be given access to marijuana.  Other than that, I’m mostly agnostic about how the costs and benefits of the War on Drugs, but I also don’t want to be much bothered by it personally.  By this I mean that while I don’t have any a priori objection to drug laws, I have substantial objection to the militarization of police tactics, the weakening of Fourth Amendment protections, and the apparent ability of the War on Drugs to wag the dog of the regulatory state.

Which brings us to the present case.  The email doesn’t say specifically, but if Chobani Greek Blueberry Power yogurt has any psychoactive effect, the internet doesn’t seem to know about it.  Rather, the “military readiness” issue is that, consumed in sufficient quantities, Blueberry Power will show up as THC during random urinalysis.*   So the motivation is strictly to protect the integrity of the testing protocol rather than concern over any actual impairment.

The government overreach implicated in banning a harmless product because its testing regimen isn’t good enough to distinguish yogurt from mind-altering substances is apparently lost on the people who make decisions about such things.  It doesn’t seem to occur to them that if their testing is inadequate, it ought to be incumbent on them to devise a better test rather than further regulate our lives to serve the defective test.

* Add random (as opposed to “for cause”) urinalysis to the list of things about drug abuse prevention that I oppose.  I am skeptical that “military readiness” is served by having enlisted men watch officers take member in hand and pee in a plastic cup.