Thursday, January 07, 2010

Your Secrets are Safe with Him/Her/Not Sure

A friend applying for a government security clearance was instructed to fill out a form that would be required by the people who would take his fingerprints.  The form doesn’t have a number, but it otherwise looks official.  (And in any case, I doubt he has time to make something like this up.)

After the section on “Personal Information”, the form has a section called “Physical Description”, which I reproduce here verbatim:

 

Gender: Female
  Male Impersonator
  Male
  Female Impersonator
  Unknown Gender
  Male Name, No Gender Given
  Female Name, No Gender Given
 
Race: Asian
  Black
  Native American
  Unknown
  Caucasian/Latino
   
Color Eyes: Black
  Blue
  Brown
  Green
  Gray
  Hazel
  Maroon
  Multicolored
  Pink
  Unknown
   
Hair Color: Bald
  Black
  Blonde or Strawberry
  Blue
  Brown
  Green
  Gray or Partially Gray
  Orange
  Purple
  Red or Auburn
  Sandy
  White
  Unknown

Even if we were to guess that the “physical description” section was intended to be completed by the examiner (and the form doesn’t say that) . . . does anybody else think that maybe a cross-dressing purple-haired vampire-eyed dude is maybe not the most mentally stable person to grant access to our nation’s closely guarded secrets?  Anybody?

1 comment:

Professor Hale said...

. . does anybody else think that maybe a cross-dressing purple-haired vampire-eyed dude is maybe not the most mentally stable person to grant access to our nation’s closely guarded secrets?

We don't discriminate. All of America's most infamous traitors so far (not counting Jihadiis, of course) have been normal looking white guys.