Thursday, October 08, 2009

Seduction Goes Mainstream?

I've grown rather accustomed to finding useful advice about interacting with the women only among the dark corners of the blogosphere, and mostly junk in the MSM. So I was surprised to find this David Wygant article headlined on Yahoo. It's surprisingly good.

Ten Tips for Approaching Single Women:

1. Observe something.

As a first approximation. But if I can channel Roissy for a moment, this can be done well, as in an are-those-nails-real DHV kind of way, or badly, as in a nice-day-today anodyne kind of way.

2. Smile.

A little of this goes a long way. Yes, show you are relaxed and confident. Don't grin like an overeager idiot.

3. Do not hesitate.

Needs no elaboration.

4. Positive body language.

5. Not too fast.

6. Keep eye contact.

7. Listen up.

8. Do not fidget.

All good.

9. Lighten your tone of voice. The tone of your voice is a very powerful tool. Approaching her in a light and playful tone is one of the best ways to start. You could also begin in a serious tone, accusing her of something like "I hope you saved some turkey for me," followed by a quick smile to let her know you are joking. Practice playing with your vocal tone with your friends -- notice the different reactions you get when you say the exact same thing using varied tones and fluctuations.

Certainly, a monotone is bad, and playful is good. But remember, lose the sh!t-eating grin. And I have my doubts about the example, in that I'm not sure what "save me some turkey" is supposed to accomplish psychologically.

10. Lean away from her. A man who leans in too far when he talks often makes a woman feel crowded. A better approach is to lean away from her slightly. This lets her know that you respect her space, boundaries, and are comfortable with yourself.

Good advice, obviously. I would add that it also demonstrates value and avoids the curse of overeagerness.

Bottom line: Much better that the usual advice from mainstream outlets.

5 comments:

Justin said...

Social skills? What? Without the shiboleths of Game or PUA acronyms???

Inconceivable!

ironrailsironweights said...

Most of these rules are fairly obvious, but the last one's an exception. Leaning in seems like the natural thing to do even though it should be avoided.

Peter

Φ said...

But if you have to learn the behavior, as opposed doing it "naturally" (whatever that means), then how is it really different from Game?

But, yeah, those PUAs are acronym happy!

Φ said...

Peter: actually, I do none of these things except by supreme act of will. But I tend to lean in to hear better, not to "disrespect her boundaries" or whatever. Bad move.

Ferdinand Bardamu said...

Like water leaking from a pipe, the truth is seeping back into the popular consciousness. Good find, Φ.