Monday, May 14, 2012

α β γ δ ω σ

From Alpha Game:

A great way to know where you are on the list...

You're in a bar and the piano guy shouts, "everyone kiss the person to your left!" and the person to your left is a single hottie. You...

  • A) Kiss her.. and the girl next to her too... because he didn't say how far to the left. (this is the alpha answer)
  • B) Playfully punch her in the arm or hug her (beta answer)
  • C) Laugh and look awkwardly at her then quickly down at your drink when you make eye contact. (Delta!)
  • D) Safely at the back of the room alone you roll your eyes and act offended that anyone would suggest such a thing because you are way to cool for these stupid games. (GAMMA!)
  • E) Going to the bar never crossed your mind. (Omega)
  • F) You didn't notice because you were getting a … in the theater during The Little Mermaid (Sigma)

Somewhere in B) thru E), perhaps.

As a general rule, I don’t go to bars (omega), although I did go a few times to one that offered dance lessons.

If I did go, I most certainly would not have sat next to the hottie (gamma).  One time, though, I sat next to a hottie on an airplane.  It was the seat number on my ticket.  So I guess if I could contrive airtight deniability, then maybe.  For instance, if I had got there first, maybe I wouldn’t move when she sat down.  But only in Florida or a another state with a “Stand Your Ground” law.

If instructed to kiss her, my instinct, of course, is to stare into my drink, since literally sinking into the floor hasn’t been possible (delta).  But if at some point prior, she had initiated conversation, and I believed us to be on speaking terms, then I might have gotten an arm punch out of it (beta).

On other hand, if, upon hearing the instructions, the hottie had leaned towards me expectantly and pursed her lips . . . well, waddya gonna do?  (Beta+?  Alpha-?)


Anonymous said...

The rules are different for hotties. Even your wife knows that.

månesteiner said...

I'm still having a hard time getting over the part where I'm listening to what a "piano guy" wants me to do.

Maybe I'm an Omega or maybe I'm just getting old.