Thursday, February 13, 2014

Life in the Scrum

Vox contemplates the unthinkable:

And in the event a woman fails to make that choice one day, the consolation prizes aren't so bad. As one of my friends discovered, while being frivorced out of the blue was initially devastating, spending his subsequent evenings in the company of various young women who are barely out of college was hardly the equivalent of a circle of Hell. Is it the life he chose? No. Is it the life he wanted? Not at all. But it's the life his ex-wife chose for him and he's having rather a good time making the best of it.

That's the abundance mentality. That's the "life is beautiful" mentality. That is the ALPHA mentality. As philosophers from Sextus Empiricus to Roosh will tell you, don't shed a single tear.

Easy for him to say!  But while Vox is of that class of men at whom women habitually throw themselves, I personally would face a couple of obstacles.  Judging from the reaction I get from young women whose husbands aren’t already my friends, I don't think this would be as easy as it sounds.  Seeing as how those reactions are presently characterized principally by their lack of eye contact, I would have substantial work to do, starting with . . . well, I don’t know exactly – how do you multiply by zero?  But presumably with a  huge increase in extroversion, followed by developing the social skills necessary to generate interest where none is now manifest.  I shudder at imagining how painful that would be, even were I actually to succeed – a by no means guaranteed outcome.

Of course, these bleak interactions take place mostly at work, and even Vox would probably counsel against trying to learn game on the job.  I would be better off seeking female companionship in other venues.  But that brings me to the second obstacle:  I’m pretty happy with my daily routine as it is right now.

  • Monday: go to work, go to the gym, come home. 
  • Tuesday: go to work, go to the pool, come home.
  • . . . .
  • Sunday: go to church, go to the range, come home.

This is obviously no way to meet women.  In the unlikely event, I would do what must be done, as I did what had to be done when I was single.  But when I got married I happily left it behind and didn't look back.  What a torture it would be to be forced by events back to it!


Anonymous said...

Not having to go out and try to find a wife is really one of the best things about being married.

This is something that didn't really exist for me when I was in my early twenties, or didn't exist as strongly. I'd love to attribute it to my feelings for Clancy compared to my feelings for Julia (who I wasn't married to, but was with for a very long time), but that's only a part of the equation. Another part is that I just wasn't built for that life. If I were tossed back into it - daughter or no-daughter - I would be rather anxious to get out of it. The consolation prize wouldn't hold much sway with me.

Anonymous said...

But when I got married I happily left it behind and didn't look back.

Looks like bait and switch to me. You lured your wife into marriage by showing her your fun dating self, only to saddle her with your sitting at home on the couch self. I have no idea why she keeps you. It must be true love.


Dr. Φ said...

All kidding aside, I can think of two ways (there may be more) in which the difference between my dating self and my married self exceed the usual best-foot-forward factor:

1. I used to fly, but quit six months in to marriage. Mainly that was about money: wives and children are expensive, and no increase in my income over the last 16 years has exceeded Mrs. Φ's ability to find home improvement projects.

2. I'm actually a lot nerdier than I let on.

There are other ways, but those have to do with actual changes in myself (and her) as we've gone along.

Dexter said...

You could always set the bar low and game that shapeless meat-sack you were once attracted to.

Dr. Φ said...

Ew . . .

heresolong said...

I am in your friend's position with your attitude. My solution has been to stay single and keep doing what I enjoy doing.

Good post.